Get a decent education, a decent job, a decent life partner and raise a decent family together. There you go - that’s how you get a decent life.
At least that’s what I thought. And that’s what we celebrate.
That vision kept me pumped up when I completed my high school education. I couldn’t wait to ace my university studies, secure a position at a prestigious firm and meet the love of my life.
Two things brought me down in 2015-2016: lack of competency & relationship issues
But I stumbled. I struggled academically. I experienced the rejection of my first crush. That was from 2015 to 2016 when I was attending Hong Kong University of Science & Technology (HKUST). It was a lonely and painful experience. I was facing two major obstacles. First. I didn’t know what I enjoy learning and want to be really good at. The hyper-competitive university environment is good for those who've found their niche. But not for those who are still figuring it out like me. Second, I was ill-prepared in navigating the sphere of relationship. I was ill-educated about finding my life partner and wasn’t aware of the underlying dynamics of it.
I experienced a breakdown in that period. My schooling was disrupted. Being out of school allowed me to be quarantined from the atmosphere of intensive competition. I then discovered my interest in Sociology. I decided that it is the area I want to build competency in. I restarted my university education at Taylor’s University, a private university in Malaysia, in August 2016. I transferred to State University of New York (Plattsburgh) in August 2018. I’ve had a great time immersing myself in the field of Sociology. I’ve found my niche, an area that I want to go deep, specialize and pursue excellence in. The pursuit of excellence now becomes a fulfilling endeavour rather than an overwhelming one.
Relationship issues have been sticky & confusing
Though navigating the sphere of relationship has been highly sticky. The sense of loneliness has become much more palpable since getting out of high school. I began to have a lot more time for myself. But friends are not readily available like it used to be in high school. I feel the need to have someone I could connect with, confide with, and share my thoughts and feelings with.
I’ve been in search of my other half since getting out of high school. Starting out, I felt I was in an inferior position because I didn’t have an area of competency that I could pride myself upon. In other words, I didn’t have a solid competency to substantiate my sense of self-worth. That began to change after I’d found out my niche in Sociology. I know what I stand for; I know what value I could contribute; I have a voice that people would listen to. I started feeling confident that I have something to provide for my other half. That level of confidence rose further after I started working.
However, the journey has been filled with uneasiness regardless of my ‘marketability’ in the relationship sphere. I just do not have the peace, be it when my affection is one-way or reciprocated. Instead, it’s been fraught with disillusionment, angst, bitterness and jealousy.
Consciousness of sex isn't filthy. It's ordained by God
Why is it so? Isn’t it God’s desire that man have a companion? Genesis 2:18 says, “And Jehovah God said, It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart.” God brought forth Eve as the counterpart of Adam, the first man, soon after God provided for his sustenance at the garden in Eden. Such a union between male and female is ordained and initiated by God. The consciousness of sex is also ordained by God. Just as it is not sin for a man to feel hungry, the need for sex is not sinful; it is a natural consciousness. Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Let marriage be held in honour among all.” Marriage is not only honourable but even holy. A God-ordained sex relationship is holy, clean, and undefiled. (Messages for Building Up New Believers, Vol. 2 by Watchman Nee).
Though the enemy, Satan, hijacks this holy matter to usurp man. Instead of a natural and joyful matter, the matter of sex relationship becomes a major source of destruction in our human living. Because of relationship issues, we get ourselves into a whirlwind of emotions that drains us. We become very much affected by the doings of those we have a crush on.
'God-ordained' is the keyword
When a matter is of God’s intention, it is of His choosing, not our doing. We are weak and are no match against the stratagems of Satan. Only God reigns over Satan. There is no absolute security and peace if God is not the centre of a matter. In my past experience, I’ve failed to be absolute for God in my pursuit of a relationship.
Everything depends on God’s blessing. God’s blessing upon me could be complete only when I am fully assured, matured and absolute in His will and Him. Then, only could I be a channel of blessing and life to my counterpart and the people around me. God will arrange for me a counterpart when it’s time. I trust in God rather than myself.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
I have only praise for God for all the turbulent relationship experiences I’ve gone through. It allows me to realize how destructive this matter could be and how many young people like you and me have been damaged by the matter.
I have long wanted to address this white elephant in the room. It is until recently I've gained sufficient discernment and fellowship of life to speak forth the truth. The world is a confusing one and is filled with death (spiritual deadness). But in God, we have eternal salvation in the power of resurrection.
At least that’s what I thought. And that’s what we celebrate.
That vision kept me pumped up when I completed my high school education. I couldn’t wait to ace my university studies, secure a position at a prestigious firm and meet the love of my life.
Two things brought me down in 2015-2016: lack of competency & relationship issues
But I stumbled. I struggled academically. I experienced the rejection of my first crush. That was from 2015 to 2016 when I was attending Hong Kong University of Science & Technology (HKUST). It was a lonely and painful experience. I was facing two major obstacles. First. I didn’t know what I enjoy learning and want to be really good at. The hyper-competitive university environment is good for those who've found their niche. But not for those who are still figuring it out like me. Second, I was ill-prepared in navigating the sphere of relationship. I was ill-educated about finding my life partner and wasn’t aware of the underlying dynamics of it.
I experienced a breakdown in that period. My schooling was disrupted. Being out of school allowed me to be quarantined from the atmosphere of intensive competition. I then discovered my interest in Sociology. I decided that it is the area I want to build competency in. I restarted my university education at Taylor’s University, a private university in Malaysia, in August 2016. I transferred to State University of New York (Plattsburgh) in August 2018. I’ve had a great time immersing myself in the field of Sociology. I’ve found my niche, an area that I want to go deep, specialize and pursue excellence in. The pursuit of excellence now becomes a fulfilling endeavour rather than an overwhelming one.
Relationship issues have been sticky & confusing
Though navigating the sphere of relationship has been highly sticky. The sense of loneliness has become much more palpable since getting out of high school. I began to have a lot more time for myself. But friends are not readily available like it used to be in high school. I feel the need to have someone I could connect with, confide with, and share my thoughts and feelings with.
I’ve been in search of my other half since getting out of high school. Starting out, I felt I was in an inferior position because I didn’t have an area of competency that I could pride myself upon. In other words, I didn’t have a solid competency to substantiate my sense of self-worth. That began to change after I’d found out my niche in Sociology. I know what I stand for; I know what value I could contribute; I have a voice that people would listen to. I started feeling confident that I have something to provide for my other half. That level of confidence rose further after I started working.
However, the journey has been filled with uneasiness regardless of my ‘marketability’ in the relationship sphere. I just do not have the peace, be it when my affection is one-way or reciprocated. Instead, it’s been fraught with disillusionment, angst, bitterness and jealousy.
Consciousness of sex isn't filthy. It's ordained by God
Why is it so? Isn’t it God’s desire that man have a companion? Genesis 2:18 says, “And Jehovah God said, It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart.” God brought forth Eve as the counterpart of Adam, the first man, soon after God provided for his sustenance at the garden in Eden. Such a union between male and female is ordained and initiated by God. The consciousness of sex is also ordained by God. Just as it is not sin for a man to feel hungry, the need for sex is not sinful; it is a natural consciousness. Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Let marriage be held in honour among all.” Marriage is not only honourable but even holy. A God-ordained sex relationship is holy, clean, and undefiled. (Messages for Building Up New Believers, Vol. 2 by Watchman Nee).
Though the enemy, Satan, hijacks this holy matter to usurp man. Instead of a natural and joyful matter, the matter of sex relationship becomes a major source of destruction in our human living. Because of relationship issues, we get ourselves into a whirlwind of emotions that drains us. We become very much affected by the doings of those we have a crush on.
'God-ordained' is the keyword
When a matter is of God’s intention, it is of His choosing, not our doing. We are weak and are no match against the stratagems of Satan. Only God reigns over Satan. There is no absolute security and peace if God is not the centre of a matter. In my past experience, I’ve failed to be absolute for God in my pursuit of a relationship.
Everything depends on God’s blessing. God’s blessing upon me could be complete only when I am fully assured, matured and absolute in His will and Him. Then, only could I be a channel of blessing and life to my counterpart and the people around me. God will arrange for me a counterpart when it’s time. I trust in God rather than myself.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
I have only praise for God for all the turbulent relationship experiences I’ve gone through. It allows me to realize how destructive this matter could be and how many young people like you and me have been damaged by the matter.
I have long wanted to address this white elephant in the room. It is until recently I've gained sufficient discernment and fellowship of life to speak forth the truth. The world is a confusing one and is filled with death (spiritual deadness). But in God, we have eternal salvation in the power of resurrection.