“You’re like an American,” my parents used to tell me when I was growing up as a kid. “You compliment others, you are open-minded and always being on your own, like an American.” The remark, although stereotypical, made me feel good (who wouldn’t?). It also keeps me wondering: why would generosity, open-mindedness, affection and self-assurance be perceived as American traits but not Asian?
I pride myself upon my Chinese ethnicity. Filial piety, considerate and can-do mentality are some of the traits I inherited as a Chinese. At the same, I have frequent encounters with scepticism, close-mindedness, naysaying and judgemental mentality growing up. Many times, I have witnessed people around me being belittled and even belittling themselves. It seems like there is this invisible force bringing about such culture. It almost feels natural yet you could feel that life has got to be so much more than belittling each other and ourselves.
Now, I’ve been here in upstate New York for school for six months. The school I’m at - State University of New York (SUNY) Plattsburgh - has an international student population of less than 10%. This gives me an opportunity to step out of my native culture and immerse myself in American culture. It has also brought light to something I have been wondering about.
Let us suppose it is lunchtime. You are joined by (or joined) a group of acquaintances (E.g. coursemates). Suppose you find yourself not blending quite well into the conversations. Would you:
A. play along with the group and stay until the end?
B. or, would you leave as you want to?
I have tried both options back at home. It feels more natural stick to option A out of courtesy. When it comes to option B (leaving as I’ve wanted), it is often followed by an awkward silence as if my departure spoils the festive dynamics or the crowd thought I was unhappy. Here at my current school, I don’t feel obliged to stay through to the end of the lunch. I’d say “It’s nice meeting you but I gotta make a move first” or “I gotta make a move, I’ll see you around.” Usually, I will receive retorts like “Alright, it’s nice meeting you too, have a good day man!” There are no feelings of offense throughout.
The scenario reflects the difference between a collectivist and individualistic culture - the extent to which one’s choice matter to others.
What makes individualism possible? Independence, the ability of not relying on others for resources. What it takes for that to happen? An abundance of resources. Developed countries like the United States are resource-rich and wealthy. On the other hand, members of a developing country often grapple with a lack of resources - more precisely, the share of the pie available to each citizen, which are often diminished by ineffective governmental practices and corruption.
There is very limited space for economic misjudgements. Fear of any sort (anything that potentially alters the status quo) pervades public life. Scepticism, criticism, risk-aversion and conservativeness, you name it, are the by-products. In short, finite resources lead to the prevalent mentality of scarcity, which becomes culture. It also translates to a culture of pleasing others (hence, self-depreciation). If I know I will need to rely on favor from parents or friends, how could I not worry about what they think of me?
This does not mean we, the people in developing countries, have no shot at all. This does not mean further condemning ourselves for the scarcity mentality and “fake the Americanness until you make it”. One important point is to know that behavior bred of scarcity mentality - stinginess, naysaying, reactionary - are not making the situation better.
Here is the paradox. A person will not become generous just because he/she is rich. You could easily notice rich people who are too poor for anything not directly beneficial to him/her. As we work toward building our wealth, know that the wealth will amplify who we are as a person. Wealth amplifies more than it changes a character.
We will be wealthy one day - as the name ‘developing countries’ suggest. But it takes an understanding of what is drawing us back now to facilitate that transformation. We can be whoever we want to be but not when we are blind to what is drawing us back. When we notice good behavior, which may not necessarily befit the current cultural norms, say “yes, that’s what I want to be” instead of falling back to our old selves. Now, that is transformation.
Generosity, open-mindedness, affection and self-assurance are not American traits - they are noble human traits.
I pride myself upon my Chinese ethnicity. Filial piety, considerate and can-do mentality are some of the traits I inherited as a Chinese. At the same, I have frequent encounters with scepticism, close-mindedness, naysaying and judgemental mentality growing up. Many times, I have witnessed people around me being belittled and even belittling themselves. It seems like there is this invisible force bringing about such culture. It almost feels natural yet you could feel that life has got to be so much more than belittling each other and ourselves.
Now, I’ve been here in upstate New York for school for six months. The school I’m at - State University of New York (SUNY) Plattsburgh - has an international student population of less than 10%. This gives me an opportunity to step out of my native culture and immerse myself in American culture. It has also brought light to something I have been wondering about.
Let us suppose it is lunchtime. You are joined by (or joined) a group of acquaintances (E.g. coursemates). Suppose you find yourself not blending quite well into the conversations. Would you:
A. play along with the group and stay until the end?
B. or, would you leave as you want to?
I have tried both options back at home. It feels more natural stick to option A out of courtesy. When it comes to option B (leaving as I’ve wanted), it is often followed by an awkward silence as if my departure spoils the festive dynamics or the crowd thought I was unhappy. Here at my current school, I don’t feel obliged to stay through to the end of the lunch. I’d say “It’s nice meeting you but I gotta make a move first” or “I gotta make a move, I’ll see you around.” Usually, I will receive retorts like “Alright, it’s nice meeting you too, have a good day man!” There are no feelings of offense throughout.
The scenario reflects the difference between a collectivist and individualistic culture - the extent to which one’s choice matter to others.
What makes individualism possible? Independence, the ability of not relying on others for resources. What it takes for that to happen? An abundance of resources. Developed countries like the United States are resource-rich and wealthy. On the other hand, members of a developing country often grapple with a lack of resources - more precisely, the share of the pie available to each citizen, which are often diminished by ineffective governmental practices and corruption.
There is very limited space for economic misjudgements. Fear of any sort (anything that potentially alters the status quo) pervades public life. Scepticism, criticism, risk-aversion and conservativeness, you name it, are the by-products. In short, finite resources lead to the prevalent mentality of scarcity, which becomes culture. It also translates to a culture of pleasing others (hence, self-depreciation). If I know I will need to rely on favor from parents or friends, how could I not worry about what they think of me?
This does not mean we, the people in developing countries, have no shot at all. This does not mean further condemning ourselves for the scarcity mentality and “fake the Americanness until you make it”. One important point is to know that behavior bred of scarcity mentality - stinginess, naysaying, reactionary - are not making the situation better.
Here is the paradox. A person will not become generous just because he/she is rich. You could easily notice rich people who are too poor for anything not directly beneficial to him/her. As we work toward building our wealth, know that the wealth will amplify who we are as a person. Wealth amplifies more than it changes a character.
We will be wealthy one day - as the name ‘developing countries’ suggest. But it takes an understanding of what is drawing us back now to facilitate that transformation. We can be whoever we want to be but not when we are blind to what is drawing us back. When we notice good behavior, which may not necessarily befit the current cultural norms, say “yes, that’s what I want to be” instead of falling back to our old selves. Now, that is transformation.
Generosity, open-mindedness, affection and self-assurance are not American traits - they are noble human traits.