If we're surrounded by good things - good food, amazing people, financial freedom and a bright future - in our lives, we’ll surely be happy, right?
Not necessarily. The key lies in whether or not we know how to cope with the promises of good feelings offered by the abundance in our life.
Things that make us feel good are surely good, right?
Today, we have an abundance of delicious food (that are often processed - crackers, candy and flavored biscuits). These food offer pleasure. They promise to make us feel good. Why not just take them in?
No, something is missing
Though, one thing is missing - what is not good about the present moment in our life? The food guarantee to bring us a good feeling (albeit a fleeting one). But by making the choice to take the food in (sometimes almost by default), we reinforce the notion that the present moments of our lives are just miserable. Just like this, we solidify the construct of our worldview that our life is plain bad. In other words, “why do I want to consume something that makes me feel good? It must be because my present life is miserable hence I need to consume something that makes me feel good.”
What if we choose not to feel good?
What if we let go of the need to feel good? Instead of consuming, we preserve. By preserving, we freeze the moment and seize control of our consciousness. In other words, we choose to not even consider the promise of things bringing us good feelings.
Instead, set the sight on things that truly matter
For instance, I used to always feel bad about a stripe of grey hair and a surgery scar on my head. That unpleasant throng of self-consciousness comes, particularly after a haircut. Because that’s when the stripe of grey hair and surgery scar become particularly pronounced. Instead of the usual routine of consuming thoughts like “Nah, you look just fine” to make myself feel better, I just let go of the need to scramble for some uplifting thought to neutralize that bad feeling. I do nothing. By doing nothing, I seize control of my consciousness and reset my vision on the things that truly matter. What truly matter to me in life are to experience life, explore and gain exposure. Essentially, I decide that the feeling of inferiority I had after a haircut is unworthy of a thought in the face of the three things that truly matter in my life.
A paradox discovered
As I do that, I discovered the paradox of businesses being rewarded for being one-of-its-kind while individuals feeling penalized for being unique (essentially the reason for my feeling bad after the haircut). In hindsight, if my mind was trying to come up with an antidote to make myself feel better, I’d have been sucked into a mire of thoughts. I wouldn’t have operated on a higher consciousness level and eventually uncovered the paradox.
What that means in a romantic relationship?
There are many times I feel bad without knowing why. My mum used to say to me “I don’t understand why you’re desperate to find your other half. You are not lacking - you have a loving family, you’re healthy and you’re bright.” I found her making sense yet I had no answer back then. Now, the answer is clearer to me. In my life, I’ve encountered many awesome ladies. I used to always think, “how nice it is if I get to go through life with lady X”. See, those awesome ladies are like a promise of a good feeling. The imagination per se brings a feeling of hopefulness and pleasure.
We're good (and that's better than feeling good)
Now, I nip the need to consume such gratifying thought in the bud. I give the power back to myself. I am created as a wholesome individual. In other words, we’re created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). I focus on embodying peace, joy and righteousness. As I do so, I cross path with amazing people (I mean you, my friend). When I interact with you, it’s about serving and evolving together. Back to my romantic relationship, what I learn is that it’ll grow just like how a tree grows. I just need to focus on doing my daily duty of watering and nourishing the tree. The tree will take care of its growth.
So, the conclusion is to preserve (over consume) and focus on what truly matter in life. Knowing how to think is important but knowing when not to think is no less important.
Not necessarily. The key lies in whether or not we know how to cope with the promises of good feelings offered by the abundance in our life.
Things that make us feel good are surely good, right?
Today, we have an abundance of delicious food (that are often processed - crackers, candy and flavored biscuits). These food offer pleasure. They promise to make us feel good. Why not just take them in?
No, something is missing
Though, one thing is missing - what is not good about the present moment in our life? The food guarantee to bring us a good feeling (albeit a fleeting one). But by making the choice to take the food in (sometimes almost by default), we reinforce the notion that the present moments of our lives are just miserable. Just like this, we solidify the construct of our worldview that our life is plain bad. In other words, “why do I want to consume something that makes me feel good? It must be because my present life is miserable hence I need to consume something that makes me feel good.”
What if we choose not to feel good?
What if we let go of the need to feel good? Instead of consuming, we preserve. By preserving, we freeze the moment and seize control of our consciousness. In other words, we choose to not even consider the promise of things bringing us good feelings.
Instead, set the sight on things that truly matter
For instance, I used to always feel bad about a stripe of grey hair and a surgery scar on my head. That unpleasant throng of self-consciousness comes, particularly after a haircut. Because that’s when the stripe of grey hair and surgery scar become particularly pronounced. Instead of the usual routine of consuming thoughts like “Nah, you look just fine” to make myself feel better, I just let go of the need to scramble for some uplifting thought to neutralize that bad feeling. I do nothing. By doing nothing, I seize control of my consciousness and reset my vision on the things that truly matter. What truly matter to me in life are to experience life, explore and gain exposure. Essentially, I decide that the feeling of inferiority I had after a haircut is unworthy of a thought in the face of the three things that truly matter in my life.
A paradox discovered
As I do that, I discovered the paradox of businesses being rewarded for being one-of-its-kind while individuals feeling penalized for being unique (essentially the reason for my feeling bad after the haircut). In hindsight, if my mind was trying to come up with an antidote to make myself feel better, I’d have been sucked into a mire of thoughts. I wouldn’t have operated on a higher consciousness level and eventually uncovered the paradox.
What that means in a romantic relationship?
There are many times I feel bad without knowing why. My mum used to say to me “I don’t understand why you’re desperate to find your other half. You are not lacking - you have a loving family, you’re healthy and you’re bright.” I found her making sense yet I had no answer back then. Now, the answer is clearer to me. In my life, I’ve encountered many awesome ladies. I used to always think, “how nice it is if I get to go through life with lady X”. See, those awesome ladies are like a promise of a good feeling. The imagination per se brings a feeling of hopefulness and pleasure.
We're good (and that's better than feeling good)
Now, I nip the need to consume such gratifying thought in the bud. I give the power back to myself. I am created as a wholesome individual. In other words, we’re created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). I focus on embodying peace, joy and righteousness. As I do so, I cross path with amazing people (I mean you, my friend). When I interact with you, it’s about serving and evolving together. Back to my romantic relationship, what I learn is that it’ll grow just like how a tree grows. I just need to focus on doing my daily duty of watering and nourishing the tree. The tree will take care of its growth.
So, the conclusion is to preserve (over consume) and focus on what truly matter in life. Knowing how to think is important but knowing when not to think is no less important.